I think that I will begin this group of writing by discussing nomenclature. A widower is "a man who has lost his wife to death and who has not remarried." If this happened to you then you are a widower and are in the right place.
To the new widower I can offer this insight. It seems like the world has gone crazy. Yes it has. You feel like you are going crazy. Yes you are. How could you not be going crazy? You just lost your wife and you have no idea of what to do at this point.
Well, as I said before the world is crazy and so are you, and after a long, long while you will not be able to tell where the insanity of being on earth ends and your own insanity begins. Revel in this mix of emotions and feelings because it's better to have them than not feel anything at all.
Do something crazy, as long as you don't injure yourself or injure someone else. But remember this, you are really not crazy. You are just sad. Sadder that you have ever been in your life. Be sad. It's OK to be sad. Just don't do anything stupid no matter how sad you get. It's not going to help anyone, least of all yourself.